Let's be real!

It's funny to me every time during my commute to work. Agreed,  it's an ungodly hour. Agreed,  you'd rather be snug in your bed than in a crowded bus. But now that you are not, you might as well be in the actual present tense and in the real world! However, majority of the commuters prefer to be on their phones. Either reading,  listening to music, watching videos,  playing games.. but each has their head bowed and is found digging into the wonders of the Internet.
I should maybe associate this habit to the fact that we have good Internet speeds here in the US. May be in other places,  people still choose to doze, admire their surroundings, and be more in the real world than the virtual.
Well, I am guilty of doing it too, but I love to pop my head up frequently to just see others too deep in their virtual realities, not caring two hoots about how beautiful the day is outside.
To sum it up, I don't say it's bad.. it's just funny and maybe concerning that we are losing touch with reality. It's beautiful to be in the real world. Yes, it's easier in the virtual counterpart, but trust me, the euphoria is incomparable. Maybe a little music,  to give your self a treat (and background music like in a movie!),  but other than that, let's be real!
Here's to more time with our heads up than buried in our gadgets, here's to be more aware of people and surroundings, here's to being real!

Support Humanity

I stand alone in a group,
A bunch of two or three,
I search valiantly for a face, a soul,
Who would have the heart to set me free.


I know what you did to my mother,
Her screams still fresh in my ears,
"Run away from here my baby",
But now my end is near.


I hope you don't ever see death so close,
Or as horrendous as I see
My final moment is filled with betrayal,
Cuz the hands who make my end sure, are the same hands who fed me.


Its all going to end in a calculated swish,
That you might think i am oblivious of,
But thr is little I can do when I see my brother being dragged,but feel,
The nasty anticipation of the horrors waiting for me.


It is a celebration, this murder of innocence,
And i see not one feel even an ounce of grief,
If this is wht is meant to be human,
Then I am glad to be the one who has to leave.


Don't celebrate murder . Celebrate Humanity.

Paranoia - Sanity.

The mind is a tremendously complicated abstract. Its when you start analyzing it, can you understand it is waay beyond your grasp. It can take you from the bottom of an abyss to the zenith of your emotional roller-coaster.. without you noticing the transition. And this, is your mind that we are talking about.. The one which you built, or the one which built you. So many colours .. A multitude of shades.. Its mesmerizing.. Its amazing that we can be capable of such a level of complexity, without even the realization of building up to it..

If our own complexity affects us so much, think about how we are affected by the depths and shallows shown by people around us. How can we even manage to claim confidence on another person's mind when we ourselves cannot predict our own impulse? How do we dare to trust ourselves on to another soul for safekeeping? That is the most fragile deal ever, right?

How does our sane mind knowingly allow us to experiment with Paranoia?

Mind maketh the Man. It can destroy one too. Are we capable of the choice?

I don't say I am perfect,
I don't say I am white,
I too have my dark side,
That is shielded from the light.

I knew you wouldn't like it,
Wouldn't like the black in me,
But there is this dark beauty hidden in it,
Which I had hoped you would see.

With her fairy tale world falling apart,
I am but a mute doll,
I just wanted you to be there,
When I tried surviving the fall.

But you couldn't grasp, you didn't see,
The sparkling White that made the contrast be.

I forgive you,
Forgive you cause this was not meant to be,
As I pick up the sharp shards,
Which are all that is left of me.


--Gauri
28/04/11

Life seems to have become a checkpoint of not my accomplishments, but of others'. It seems more like a comparison than ever before. Does this mean I am 'social' at last? Or does it mean the exact opposite?

Maybe the prospect of 'stepping into the unknown' has triggered it. This might have happened before, a good 5 years earlier, maybe I could not name it then. Its when one is forced to break one's own security, that one is left bewildered at a threshold this way.

This was bound to happen. Situations mold a person in ways unimaginable. It is this vulnerable openness around me, or some aberrant change in myself, that I have become aware of emotions around me at this magnitude. Its suffocating. So diverse they are that I feel myself surrounding by these multitude of colours that continue pressing down on me heavier than ever.

A friend termed this as 'quarter-life crisis', but I have never believed in the charm of compartmentalizing. The Me, who comes out of each such day, is the one I carry forward. I feel the change everyday, however small the delta. Its this uncertainty, this rawness , that is scary. Even the safest haven has been uprooted, even the calmest thought been provoked.


Comparisons seem an unavoidable chore, and pain is all I am left with.

Its so easy to get irritated. Almost as easy as turning on a switch. And its most of the times due to someone else's behaviour that we get all cranky and worked up. Is it worth it?

Counting up to ten hardly helps. Maybe till 100000 could help. But who knows? There has to be a better way than to distract oneself.. Cause anyway, distractions help only until something else distracts us from the distraction.. and who wants to get all the more caught up in pseudo reality and mind generated webs..?

That someone who is the cause, analyzing his behaviour, is again a mind-fucking job. Who knows what-what led to his which-which decision? And its not our territory again. What someone else thinks and does, is his business. The by-product of his business, i.e the irritation, that, is our territory-to clean up the mess in our minds.

I have learnt by numerous experiences that confronting helps. But then, it again it opens up some nasty surprises and secrets that you realize you would have been better off without knowing. Not to mention the endless, 'maine yeh bola' and 'usne yeh bola.. ' Man! Am done with it all..

Is it really possible to evolve such that irritation slides off you without sticking its ugly face in your mind? Is it really possible to become much much grown up mentally than what your age demands? I think it is.

Try this out. The next time you feel you are about to lose it, take a deep breath. Concentrate on your breathing. Think, are you hungry? Drink a glass of water, concentrating on each gulping sound you make. Close your eyes and keep your mind blank for a few moments. You'll experience a much calmer atmosphere around you than before.

Consizing it all, its just delaying the impulse. That's all that it is. Its the impulse that makes the mind react to the irritant. Which then leads to anger and negativity. The solution is to just let the impulse pass and regain the control on yourself. Once things seem clearer, you would feel the irritation slipping off you!

:)

So many thoughts, so hard to pen them down.

Blue toenails- Me
White cat hair- My darling cat
Big eyes- The current monster at home
Ratty tail- Bandi
Curly hair- My stupid sister
Green- Rain
Black- berry
Book- Dork(current read)
Dream- Nightmare
Cool- Rain
Shuffle- Feet
Peace- ?
Sheru- Taare Zammen Par hairstyle :)
Caramel- Love
Ahead- Fight
Fly- Santa!
Midnight- Comfort :)
Hunger- Mom :)
Dad- Dearest
Future- Me
Warmth- Dodo!
Smile- Dodo again!
Miss- My BFF
Stop- NOW! :)