Its so easy to get irritated. Almost as easy as turning on a switch. And its most of the times due to someone else's behaviour that we get all cranky and worked up. Is it worth it?

Counting up to ten hardly helps. Maybe till 100000 could help. But who knows? There has to be a better way than to distract oneself.. Cause anyway, distractions help only until something else distracts us from the distraction.. and who wants to get all the more caught up in pseudo reality and mind generated webs..?

That someone who is the cause, analyzing his behaviour, is again a mind-fucking job. Who knows what-what led to his which-which decision? And its not our territory again. What someone else thinks and does, is his business. The by-product of his business, i.e the irritation, that, is our territory-to clean up the mess in our minds.

I have learnt by numerous experiences that confronting helps. But then, it again it opens up some nasty surprises and secrets that you realize you would have been better off without knowing. Not to mention the endless, 'maine yeh bola' and 'usne yeh bola.. ' Man! Am done with it all..

Is it really possible to evolve such that irritation slides off you without sticking its ugly face in your mind? Is it really possible to become much much grown up mentally than what your age demands? I think it is.

Try this out. The next time you feel you are about to lose it, take a deep breath. Concentrate on your breathing. Think, are you hungry? Drink a glass of water, concentrating on each gulping sound you make. Close your eyes and keep your mind blank for a few moments. You'll experience a much calmer atmosphere around you than before.

Consizing it all, its just delaying the impulse. That's all that it is. Its the impulse that makes the mind react to the irritant. Which then leads to anger and negativity. The solution is to just let the impulse pass and regain the control on yourself. Once things seem clearer, you would feel the irritation slipping off you!

:)

So many thoughts, so hard to pen them down.

Blue toenails- Me
White cat hair- My darling cat
Big eyes- The current monster at home
Ratty tail- Bandi
Curly hair- My stupid sister
Green- Rain
Black- berry
Book- Dork(current read)
Dream- Nightmare
Cool- Rain
Shuffle- Feet
Peace- ?
Sheru- Taare Zammen Par hairstyle :)
Caramel- Love
Ahead- Fight
Fly- Santa!
Midnight- Comfort :)
Hunger- Mom :)
Dad- Dearest
Future- Me
Warmth- Dodo!
Smile- Dodo again!
Miss- My BFF
Stop- NOW! :)

I would want to pen down my thoughts.. but have noticed that the pace of my mind is too much for even me to grasp..

Is it becoming clearer by the day? Following what you hv agreed to do, and doing it right NOW- both of these gather a hell lot of meaning..

Thoughts would just remain so unless acted out.. And I would be stationary unless I take a step forward..

My idea of my life is wholesome.. So much can be learned from every single thing around me.. Every little news article.. All observations.. right from which shops are there on which road to the interfacing of the 8086 microprocessor... so much information.. TV commercials, the nature of a wound on my dog, which BEST bus goes where... wow! its amazing.. mind numbing..

And to say we don't grasp the smallest of the joys in getting to know so many new things everyday... I have seen myself getting troubled over a small phone conversation, getting irritated because of an unfair person, feeling cross because 'people' seem so bourgeois and selfish..

But as one of my very favourite persons has said, he tries not to think of matters beyond his control. He finds it easier to distract himself by thinking of matters that involve using parts of his brain that are getting rusted bcuz he r "growing up". Take cartoons for eg or simple 'why' questions, or making people smile, loving unconditionally... there, that made me smile.. :)

Knowledge is all around us. If learning gives you as much joy as it gives me, then let yourself get lost in this mesmerizing world.. there is so much to explore, so much to observe.. so many areas where you can better yourself... and thts wht we r striving for, eh? :)

With Santa resting on my tummy , his eyes tracking the movements on my screen, here I am, re-visiting my blog after such a long time. Reason? I don't like this interface.. I mean to acquire a new one someday..

I do not know what the future hold for me. Do I need a clue? Sometimes, I feel there is a need, sometimes I like its unpredictability..

Loads of agendas.. Some I think would help directly, some I hope shall help indirectly.. In making of what I feel would be my future life..

Thinking about future, I might have thought what I would be doing in my TE/BE.. and I am so not following that.. Hence what is the probability that everything would go according to the 'plan', ahead?

Who knows where there would be a turn.. A sudden dead-end.. A blind-turn opening to a mesmerizing sea-shore.. No body can predict..

One can just hope.. Dream.. Fight.. For what one wants his/her life to be like.. Irrespective of whether he would live it or not..

Giving a 100% to your dream.. of what you think is right.. of what you call your happiness..

Keeping my fight up..

Cheers until the next time :)